He would make up stories about the heroic Justin Nicely, an investigative hairdresser, who possessed a magical helmet. Whenever Justin rubbed the tip of his helmet, he would swell to twice his size and his muscles grew firm. Donning a tasteful purple costume and calling himself Bash Helmet, Justin took to the streets, coming down hard on criminals.
The high ranking Felch radioed Bash's stories to the publishers which then employed artists to draw them. Early test sketches of Bash depicted him as aggressive, bulky and hairy but this made him look too much like a lesbian - so his appearance was refined.
In October 1941, Bash Helmet was introduced to the world in Tales to Excite issue 27. The debut story explained how Justin first came across his helmet in Greece and then returned to the United States to fight crime. The following month’s issue showed Bash coming to blows with a gang of hoodlums in a park. The new hero proved a massive hit and copies of these comics were found under beds and in public toilets across the United States.
Keen to emulate their hero in his one man battle against the Axis of Evil, excitable young men up and down the country figuratively (and sometimes literally) burnt their bras and stood up to be counted for the War Effort.
Soon there were whole squadrons comprised of homosexuals desperate to get their hands on a German Panzer. Some of Bash’s phrases from the comics were adopted as slogans by the squaddies, including “Watch your backs, Hunnies!” and “We’re out...to save the World!”
The most popular enemy of Bash during the war-era comics was Diva Braun, a brutal lesbian Nazi agent who specialised in SS & M. She and Bash had a number of confrontations over the years until her eventual demise at the hands of Hitler himself when she attempted to overthrow the Fuhrer and rename their country ‘Hermany’.